Friday, January 23, 2015

Concert Etiquette

Last weekend, I was in Tampa for the Florida Music Educators annual conference.  I decided to attend the middle school treble concert on Saturday morning.  I had signed up to monitor the mixed chorus' rehearsal the day before, so I was given priority seating for this concert.  I chose my seat carefully and settled in while frantic parents dashed about trying to find the perfect seat from which to see their little chorister.

Unfortunately for me, a woman with a toddler in a stroller decided that her perfect seat was the one directly behind me.  The little guy was a bit fussy before the concert, but was entertaining himself in his stroller with his sippy cup and a toy.  Ten minutes before the conductor walked out onto the podium, it became evident that the little guy had pooped his diaper.  There is no smell on the planet like a poopy diaper.  I know.  I changed enough of them as a young mother.  This particular woman found it humorous.  I most definitely did not.

She had ample time to remove the child from the premises, take care of business and return before her little darling sang their first note.  The woman leaned over to the person seated next to her and stated, "I would take him out, but he's quiet now.  As long as it's not bothering him, I'll leave him alone."  I guess she never considered that the smell might be bothering those of us in close proximity.  Since there was nowhere else I could sit, I sat with my hand over my nose and mouth for the next 45 minutes.

For all you concert-goers out there, please understand that it is important to consider those around you when you are sitting in an audience.  It is never appropriate to holler or scream your child's name from the audience.  Flash photography is extremely distracting.  Recording the performance on your iPad breaks copyright law and is no fun for the person sitting behind you trying to watch the concert through your 13" screen.  Excessive cologne can be a choking hazard for those of us with sensitivities to certain smells.  Talking to your neighbor, getting up and walking out in the middle of a piece of music, clapping at inappropriate places during the performance -- each of these things is unacceptable to the performers on the stage and to their conductor.

If you're not sure when to clap, the best rule of thumb is to clap when the conductor's arms have returned to their side.  If it becomes necessary to leave during the performance, please wait until the song is finished and the clapping begins before you quietly exit.  Turn off all cell phones and pagers.  The glow from the screen is distracting.  Remember that a concert is not a sporting event and requires a bit of decorum.  If your baby becomes disruptive (or poops their diaper), please remove them from the auditorium as quickly as possible.  Those trying to enjoy the concert with you will be most grateful.

Until next time...


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